Lovelies, as we all know, fairytales in most countries is the common thread sewn into the fabric of our childhood.
Many of us have so many ideas of what our lives should look like based on these tales. We all want to be the beautiful royal heroine, who overcomes life’s challenges to arrive at the ultimate goal: marriage.
So do you really need to be the fairest of them all to land your Prince Charming and live happily ever after in a far away castle to be fulfilled?
Well from the looks of the fairy tales we’ve grown up watching, that is the formula to a happy life. Isn’t it?
So then, we can wonder if our human existence is truly limited to a list of boxes to check as we travel the yellow brick road on our way to our proverbial happy ending? Or is there more to life than these idealistic fantasies?
By examining how these myths helped shape our adult perspectives, we reframing them in a more positive way, one that uplifts us and give us back the control of our lives. Sometimes life isn’t a fairy tale and that’s ok! We can still hold space for our inner child and childhood dreams while living a life of intention, discernment and maturity.
So, before going any further, please scroll down to see 3 “Myths” that Fairy Tales taught us growing up- debunked!
1. All you need is good looks and charm to be happy and make it in life.
According to most fairy tales, physical beauty is the most important factor in a woman’s life and an indicator of her value and future happiness or success.
Well no. Although looks are important and very influential, they are not to be put on a pedestal. That’s where we fall short as women. Although pretty privilege is a reality in the real world, it doesn’t indicate ones worth or chances of true happiness. That is entirely up to each individual and their life’s journey. You are the creator of your own happiness and as a human being you are a multifaceted creation, created in Gods image. Your physical breath is just one facet of your other attributes, gifts and talents.
2. Life begins when you marry, which is the culmination of your human existence.
Marriage isn’t for everyone and that’s ok. Even in the Bible some people are called to be single and enjoy a life of celibacy.
If it’s the desire of your heart that’s great as well, but it shouldn’t take over your entire being to the point that you think you are missing out and are crippled into hopelessness and become miserable.
Your life begins when you want it to. There are awesome things to do and learn before you are engaged and married.
It’s a sensitive topic because life doesn’t pan out how we want. Some wanted to be married at 22 and are still unmarried at 35. Others did want to be married are ended up married 3 times. Others are miserable in their marriages while others are completely elated and blessed.
The point is to know that your marriage status doesn’t define you and your worth isn’t linked to whether your Prince Charming shows up or not. Be excited about your future, live to the fullest each day, write down your dreams- because it will all make sense in the end!
3. Justice always prevails and being a people pleaser gets you far.
That justice doesn’t always prevail. “Happy Endings” look different for everyone and being a nice person often doesn’t lead to our expected end because people are socialized to think of kindness as weakness. Most people pleasers end up being doormats and learn the hard way that it’s best to set limits with others to protect yourself. Discernment and wisdom is more important than validation for external sources. Your peace is worth protecting even if that upsets certain people.
Life is definitely not fair, harsh reality but it is reality and sometimes your Happy Ending is simply being content with the way things turn out. Contentment is a virtue and finding happiness in your journey is fulfilling… Even if you haven’t reached a certain goal or destination yet.
Being happy now – in this present moment- is the true secret to lasting happiness.
The good girl doesn’t always win. And that’s the truth. There are lots of books written on this including good girls don’t get the corner office. People pleasing is actually damaging and is rooted in the fear of being rejected.
People-pleasers, so dependent on being approved and accepted by others, are incapable of validating themselves.
Lovely Tip: still be a “good girl”, but with strong boundaries.
Thoughts? Which myth have you debunked as an adult? What else would you add to the list? Share below!
And as always, thanks for stopping by!
Xo,
Claudrine
